hi everyone, my name is salem aomari and im assigned in english 101 to comment on the new york city response to hurricane sandy.
i think New York was doing good before the hurricane will hit by sensationalizing people and informing them about this natural disaster but after that i saw a big gab between the people and the government and the information was a hard thing to get.
this was actually kind of punishment. in the passage blanking in the beach by Senth Mydans publised in the international herald tribune writes "victimizing the victims" (page 68) a victim is anyone who gone to trouble without been responsible for it. victimizing the victims, means that the administration chose to stay away in critical time and this was sort of blaming people for their situation even if they weren't responsible for it. and/or in the worst cases use this period of chock to drive them to wherever powerful people want to. the government stayed there till when people needed it and it disappeared as a vapor as people seeking for help to rebuild their houses or find a solutions get back their jobs. In some way we saw the same story happened in New York during and after hurricane sandy where people left behind without any explanation or help .this fact is still available in the sandy line stories where we heard some people talking about their experiences with the absence of the government.
i think New York was doing good before the hurricane will hit by sensationalizing people and informing them about this natural disaster but after that i saw a big gab between the people and the government and the information was a hard thing to get.
this was actually kind of punishment. in the passage blanking in the beach by Senth Mydans publised in the international herald tribune writes "victimizing the victims" (page 68) a victim is anyone who gone to trouble without been responsible for it. victimizing the victims, means that the administration chose to stay away in critical time and this was sort of blaming people for their situation even if they weren't responsible for it. and/or in the worst cases use this period of chock to drive them to wherever powerful people want to. the government stayed there till when people needed it and it disappeared as a vapor as people seeking for help to rebuild their houses or find a solutions get back their jobs. In some way we saw the same story happened in New York during and after hurricane sandy where people left behind without any explanation or help .this fact is still available in the sandy line stories where we heard some people talking about their experiences with the absence of the government.
Some good ideas here. I thought the paragraph organization worked. I would just continue to read this out loud to keep the flow going in your sentences. Maybe say more about the "gap" in your essay (if you include this), as well as what exactly about Sandy was "punishment" (revise the topic sentence if you include a version of this paragraph in your paper). Overall nice post.
ReplyDeleteyou've got a lot of great ideas,but your blog seems a little vague. I think that adding some more details and adding your opinion would serve as a way to direct the readers to the point your trying to make. You might try explaining in what way people where being victimized. I would also expand on what you mean by the government disappearing. Overall you have some really good ideas, just give the readers some more information on your key ideas.
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